Dear Keeley,
I'm glad to have received your email and I hope you figure something out after my suggestions, COMMA as that's a serious decision for your future.Also, you will certainly benefit from that school, COMMA since it is specifically designed for talented students, like you, COMMAS and many more who might not have the opportunity to have a learning experience like that.
To begin with, I can understand why you are not comfortable with this decision. I was in your shoes 9 years ago when I had to choose between the mathematic school and the normal/ conventional one, where most students used to be. So after a lot of consideration, I opted for the maths school and today I am one of the best mathematicians in the country, having a really well-paid job and a family, too. * So, if where you, I would probably opt for the music school for the simple reason that it will be oneoff of the most beneficial colleges high schools for you and for every talented musician to go to.
On the other hand, you may lose some friends andwon't you may not be able to communicate with them in person when you are used to, in the mornings before the school ring rangs bell rings and start the lessons start. Nevertheless, (that is a little too formal for a letter to a friend- you can still use however) you will be able to chat with them, COMMA using the social media or even having video chats with them providing you have a smartphone or a tablet. Besides, you could meet them at cafés and talk about the news in their school, as you will be absent.
In conclusion, that's a great opportunity for you το expand your knowledge on music and try to study it at the future.Nonetheless, (too formal again) it's up to you what you choose and I hope that you are well-informed about the music school and what it will imply.
Love/ Best wishes is more appropriate for a penpal,
Anderson-> you must sign off with your first name
*Jim, you are supposed to be a student with an English-speaking friend. You don't have to assume the role of a successful adult just to convince your friend to follow your advice. You have to be you and that is enough! (Good life advice, by the way!) So you are just a student choosing to pursue Maths and you recommend this kind of special school to your penpal. Simple as that!
Your attempt at writing the letter was a great one! Some words could be a little less formal, but still you proved you can use advanced vocabulary and grammar. Your sympathy towards your friend and good advice also gave you marks. Pay attention to my corrections, which we can discuss in person or in the chat group with the rest of your class.
Communicative effect 4/5 (because of the way you signed off and your new identity!)
Language 4/5
Organisation 4/5
Content 5/5
17/20!!! Well done, Jim! Keep up the effort! Christina 💪😏👍
I'm glad to have received your email and I hope you figure something out after my suggestions, COMMA as that's a serious decision for your future.Also, you will certainly benefit from that school, COMMA since it is specifically designed for talented students, like you, COMMAS and many more who might not have the opportunity to have a learning experience like that.
To begin with, I can understand why you are not comfortable with this decision. I was in your shoes 9 years ago when I had to choose between the mathematic school and the normal/ conventional one, where most students used to be. So after a lot of consideration, I opted for the maths school and today I am one of the best mathematicians in the country, having a really well-paid job and a family, too. * So, if where you, I would probably opt for the music school for the simple reason that it will be one
On the other hand, you may lose some friends and
In conclusion, that's a great opportunity for you το expand your knowledge on music and try to study it at the future.Nonetheless, (too formal again) it's up to you what you choose and I hope that you are well-informed about the music school and what it will imply.
Love/ Best wishes is more appropriate for a penpal,
Anderson-> you must sign off with your first name
*Jim, you are supposed to be a student with an English-speaking friend. You don't have to assume the role of a successful adult just to convince your friend to follow your advice. You have to be you and that is enough! (Good life advice, by the way!) So you are just a student choosing to pursue Maths and you recommend this kind of special school to your penpal. Simple as that!
Your attempt at writing the letter was a great one! Some words could be a little less formal, but still you proved you can use advanced vocabulary and grammar. Your sympathy towards your friend and good advice also gave you marks. Pay attention to my corrections, which we can discuss in person or in the chat group with the rest of your class.
Communicative effect 4/5 (because of the way you signed off and your new identity!)
Language 4/5
Organisation 4/5
Content 5/5
17/20!!! Well done, Jim! Keep up the effort! Christina 💪😏👍
Thanks you Ms Christina!👍
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